Living Like Otis

I knew this day would come.  Anyone who has started a blog has experienced a time when weeks, but more likely months, pass without a blog post.  The last 68 make up my first real dry spell, but I'm sure many more will follow.  My blogging dry spells may even prove to be longer and arid than my girlfriend dry spells, but I doubt it.

Moving on.  California has treated me well thus far, and my recent trip to Utah only confirmed how much I like it here.  Living with my family has been great and work has been surprisingly pleasant (although soon I'll be entering my first busy season.  Come back on April 15th and I'll tell you how I really feel about my job).  I have little to complain about.

That being said, I didn't feel this way when I started work.  I had trouble adapting to the schedule and I wasn't sure I liked my job at all.  Part of me was already secretly planning my exit strategy, although the rest of me wouldn't admit it.  I wasn't feeling very happy, and work wasn't the only reason.

And then things started to change.  Maybe it was simply my becoming more accustomed to my new life with the passage of time.  Maybe not.

My brother Brian shared this Ted Talk with me by Shawn Anchor entitled "The Happy Secret to Better Work."  At the time I didn't feel like I was producing bad work that needed to be better, but I did need a better attitude towards my work.  The following excerpt consists of bits and pieces that underscore what this discourse was all about:

"If I know everything about your external world, I can only predict 10 percent of your long-term happiness.  90 percent of your long-term happiness is predicted not by the external world, but by the way your brain processes the world.  And if we change it, if we change our formula for happiness and success, what we can do is change the way that we can then affect reality. We found that only 25 percent of job successes are predicted by I.Q.  75 percent of job successes are predicted by your optimism levels, your social support and your ability to see stress as a challenge instead of as a threat.  In the last three years, I've traveled to 45 different countries, working with schools and companies in the midst of an economic downturn.  And what I found is that most schools and companies follow a formula for success, which is this: if I work harder, I'll be more successful.  And if I'm more successful, then I'll be happier. ... And the problem is that's scientifically broken and backwards ... our brains work in the opposite order. ... If we can find a way of becoming positive [and happy] in the present, then our brains work even more successfully as we're able to work harder, faster and more intelligently."

My happiness was being determined by my surroundings, like my job.  I was seeing stress as a threat, and not a challenge.  I was unconsciously placing my happiness just out of reach.  I thought that if I had a job that I enjoyed more or if I had more success at my job and in life, I'd be happy.  But what Mr. Anchor teaches is that you don't have to be successful to be happy; just being happy creates the success you're looking for.  He teaches that your current circumstances don't predict your long-term happiness; the way you process the world predicts your long-term happiness.  These are not novel concepts.  You and I have heard them a million times before and we all probably accept them as things we believe.  But if we really examined our lives, we would find, like I did, that we allow our external circumstances to determine how happy we are more often that we think we do.  We would find that we've made the happiness for which we constantly strive forever elusive, just over the horizon and on the opposite side of success, of marriage or of a new job.  It's a skewed way of thinking, but unfortunately it's human nature to constantly be looking for greener pastures.

Yes, that is me in a Onesie behind him.

You know who doesn't have that problem?  Dogs.  I have a dog and his name is Otis.  Those who know me well know that I love my dog. He was once full of energy, but now he's slowed down and is kind of a gimp.  But every now and then he'll perk up and become the spry little dog he once was.  Otis and the rest of the canine world are amazing creatures.  Unlike us, they wear their emotions on their sleeves - we never have to guess what they think of us.  In our human-human interactions, we're always concerned and wondering what others might be thinking of us while at the same time hiding what we really feel about them for fear of hurting their feelings.  So we put on a facade and keep them guessing.  Wouldn't relationships and dating be a lot easier if we all acted like dogs?  Not in the sniffing-each-other's-crotches kind of way, but in the this-is-exactly-how-I-feel-about-you kind of way? There would be no more second-guessing of ourselves, no more anxious, worrying thoughts about how she or he reacted to this, or about why they did or didn't say that.  We would always be in the know.

Anyway, that's another point entirely, and perhaps another post.  Let's get back to the reason I brought up dogs in the first place.  We have greener-pasture syndrome.  We're always thinking the best is yet to come, and that we need x, y, or z to happen to us before we can be happy.  Dogs don't think like we do - they just enjoy life now.  No matter what a dog is doing, he's completely there and he's totally enjoying himself.  Dogs never wonder what people think of them, or what they need to get done later.  Dogs worry only about chasing those birds, what that bush smells like, or where they're going to pee.  Their only care is what they're experiencing right now.  They're always present, and consequently always happy.

I read a book once called "Zorba the Greek."  It was a really weird book that I'd hesitate to recommend, but there's a passage in the book that is pertinent to our topic of conversation. Zorba, the wise old Greek, is speaking to our worrisome protagonist:

"I've stopped thinking all the time of what happened yesterday.  And stopped asking myself what's going to happen tomorrow.  What's happening today, this minute, that's what I care about.  I say: 'What are you doing at this moment, Zorba?'  'I'm sleeping.'  'Well, sleep well.'  'What are you doing at this moment, Zorba?'  'I'm working.'  'Well, work well.'  'What are you doing at this moment, Zorba?'  'I'm kissing a woman.'  'Well, kiss her well, Zorba!  And forget the rest while you're doing it; there's nothing else on earth, only you and her!  Get on with it!'"

That's how a dog lives, and we should live that way too.  Are you at work right now?  Then be at work and don't worry about how much you're not enjoying yourself, and stop thinking about when you'll be off.  You're with that girl right now?  Well then be with her, and stop wishing you were with someone else.

No matter our present circumstances we make the conscious decision to enjoy where we are in life now, and to be happy now.  Success and everything else we want will follow.  If we find that we are unhappy, maybe we should consider asking ourselves, 'What would Otis do?'