Life is Too Short to be Busy

Before I get into this week’s real topic of conversation, I have to pick up where I left off last week and write about the greatest and most ridiculous show on television, the Bachelorette.  My apologies that this post comes but two days before the next episode. 

The Bachelorette

(1) Chris.   Is a complete idiot.  This is courtesy of Grantland.com*:

“In the ‘Producer Interviews You and Tries to Make You Cry’ limo ride, [Chris] dropped a classic on us: ‘I’m 10 times the man than bleeping all those dudes are there!’  Chris, after reviewing footage of you attempting to use a bow and arrow … I disagree.”

*Quick plug for Grantland.com – This is an affiliate site with ESPN.com run by ESPN writer Bill Simmons.  It’s a great mix of pop culture and sports, and since I enjoy both, I make Grantland.com one of the websites I check daily. 

(2) Jef.  Right now he is leading the pack.  That letter he wrote put him in first place and made Emily swoon.  I loved the obviously dubbed-over line when Jef was talking about his parents: “My parents, they are in South Carolina doing charity work.”  What was it that was so controversial that they had to insert “doing charity work”? 

“My parents, they are in South Carolina (1) serving as missionaries,  (2) thrusting in their sickle with their might ,  (3) pruning the Lord’s vineyard, (4) due to a call from the current Prophet of God, Thomas S. Monson, (5) preparing the way for the Second Coming.  And I could go on.  While all those are true statements, I must refrain due to my strong tendency to commit blasphemy and speak sacrilege. 

(3) Sean.  I am not ashamed to admit that Sean is my favorite on the show, even though he is a more bland than Jef and Arie.  He is the most upright, moral, and manly of the remaining three, but he lacks the edge that Arie and Jef have.  I’m not sure I even know what that means, but he’s missing something.  The chemistry between Sean and Emily just isn’t what it should be.  And there were a couple of moments when he slipped his tongue inside Emily’s mouth that were pretty painful.  Furthermore, Sean’s practical jokes didn’t go over that well with Emily.  I loved the idea of pretending he lived at home, but as funny as the idea was, it just didn’t pan out.  Emily didn’t laugh very much, and Sean’s admittance that, yes, it was a joke, was poor.  His delivery was bad.  We haven’t really seen a funny, joking side to Sean yet, so perhaps that attributed to how bad the joke played out. 

But besides all of that, I believe that a Sean/Emily combination would be the combination that would have the greatest chance of staying together.  Unfortunately, when was the last time the Bachelor/Bachelorette chose the person that was best for him/her?  Ben and Courtney?  Jake and Vienna?  Brad and Emily?  We all thought Allie/Roberto was a good match and now he’s the next Bachelor.  In the words of Arie’s mom: “Normally when you are the one proposing, you are not being the Bachelor, so I am kind of surprised to see you there.”  I’ll admit that Ashley and JP are going strong, but they are definitely the exception and not the rule.  So mark my words when I say that Emily will not choose Sean, and it won’t work out with whoever else she chooses.

(4) Arie.  I don’t have a lot to say about Arie.  If you weren’t able to catch the picture of him with the long hair, I've been kind enough to provide you with this picture.  It makes you see him in a different way.  If Arie wants to regain the lead from Jef, I think it’s time he does something special for Emily.  Up until this point Arie has relied on (1) the fact that his and Emily’s relationship was stronger than everyone else’s, and (2) his passionate kissing.  Jef and Sean have finally caught up to him, and Jef took the lead with the puppets and then furthered his lead with the letter.  Arie needs to do something like that.  If he could have beat Jef to the sappy love letter, he’d be cruising.  But alas, he now finds himself in the position no one wants to be in: the early front-runner who never took the next step because they were so confident in what they thought was the best relationship (think Kaci from Ben’s season).  He’s in a dangerous spot right now, and although I think he’ll make it to the finale, he’s got to do something pretty great this week to have a chance at beating Jef. 

(5) The Fantasy Bachelorette.  My team is amazing.  

(6) Burning Love.  On a semi-related note, anyone who watches the Bachelor/Bachelorette series should check out “Burning Love”.  Ben Stiller has made a great web series spoofing my favorite television show.  I’ve watched all 11 episodes so far and I can hardly wait for the next ones (they come out every Monday and Thursday).  Each episode is only about 8-10 minutes, which makes it really easy to justify watching “one more.” 

The “Busy” Trap

It is now time to move on to a more serious and practical discussion.  Every time I write about something as trivial and as stupid as the Bachelorette, I feel I need to write about something that has meaning in order to compensate for any brain cells I might have lost while focusing my mind on the ridiculous topic that is the Bachelorette.  In that Spirit, I’d like to share a great article I read by author/New York Times writer Tim Kreider called The “Busy” Trap.  If you'd like to read the full article, click here.  

There are three main ideas that I want to talk about in relation to this article:

                (1) Why people want to be busy

“They’re busy because of their own ambition or drive or anxiety, because they’re addicted to busyness and dread what they might have to face in its absence.  …  They feel anxious or guilty when they aren’t either working or doing something to promote their work. …  Busyness serves as a kind of existential reassurance, a hedge against emptiness; obviously your life cannot possibly be silly or trivial or meaningless if you are so busy, completely booked, in demand every hour of the day.”

The author’s explanation about why we desire so much to be busy is spot-on.  For some reason, we feel validated and of worth when we are busy and when we are being “productive.”  Society tells us that if we are taking a break and being idle that we are being unproductive and that we should feel guilty.  I have been a victim of these feelings and still am, although I am trying to improve and embrace time away from being busy.  That can be hard when one has been conditioned his or her entire life to avoid idleness at all cost. 

                (2) The importance of idleness

I already told you that I had a tendency to speak blasphemies every so often, so saying that idleness is important should only add fuel to that flame.  I imagine you could quote to me ten or fifteen scriptures that say things like “thou shalt not be idle” or “refrain from idleness”, and I would say that there is truth to those statements.  Too much idleness is a bad thing, but it’s true that too much of anything is a bad thing, and that includes busyness and having too many things to do.  While the scriptures teach that we should not be idle, they also teach that Jesus often “withdrew himself into the wilderness” (Luke 5:16) to get away from the pressures of His ministry and to spend time being, in a sense, idle. 

“Idleness is not just a vacation, and indulgence or a vice; it is as indispensable to the brain as vitamin D is to the body, and deprived of it we suffer a mental affliction as disfiguring as rickets.  The space and quiet that idleness provides is a necessary condition for standing back from life and seeing it whole, for making unexpected connections and waiting for the wild summer lightning strikes of inspiration – it is, paradoxically, necessary to getting any work done.”

So don’t feel bad about being “idle.”  Realize that it’s lot more important than one more class, one more client, one more workout, or one more chore. 

                (3) Life is too short to be busy

                This is my favorite quote from the article:

“I did make a conscious decision, a long time ago, to choose time over money, since I’ve always understood that the best investment of my limited time on earth was to spend it with people I love.  I suppose it’s possible I’ll lie on my deathbed regretting that I didn’t work harder and say everything I had to say, but I think what I’ll really wish is that I could have one more beer with Chris, another long talk with Megan, and one last good hard laugh with Boyd.  Life is too short to be busy.”           

               

It all comes down to what we value in life.  “For where you treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matthew 6:21).  If we amass too many treasures on earth and not enough in heaven, there will come a day that we wish we could do it over again.  On the flip side, we will never regret having too many treasures in heaven.  Treasures in heaven begin and end with relationships, and I think that’s the final point the author is trying to make.  So perhaps the next time you think you should choose work over family or school over friends, remember that there is a time and place for being idle, for letting go of busyness, and for embracing and enjoying what really matters in life, and that time is always.