Here's to Good Friends

Before I get into what I really want to talk about, I have some thoughts about this week's Bachelorette's episode, like always.

Thought #1: Something was different about Emily ...
Anybody want to guess what I'm referring to?  For all the crap about Emily wanting to be a good role model for her daughter, she sure has no problem showing off her boob job to the world.  No way that wasn't a brand new chest.  Everyone loves Emily, but the author is not a big fan.

Thought #2: Love me some Ryan

Yes, Ryan is a chauvinistic pig, but at least he knows it and can have fun with it.  A theme of recent Men/Women Tell All episodes has been the redemption of one of the season's villains.  It worked for Michelle Money two seasons ago, didn't work for Courtney last season, and I think it worked for Ryan here.  He can laugh at how stupid he is and I think that's cool.  That's unlike Chris who is a complete idiot but doesn't know it.  Speaking of which ...

Thought #3: Chris is a complete idiot

"I'm talking right now!!!"

One of my favorite moments of the show (besides when Chris yelled "I'm talking right now!") was right after Sean finished talking about how his heartbreak ended up helping him and opening his eyes (more on this later).  Chris then literally repeated the exact words Sean had just spoken and talked how he also benefited and how he, too, had his eyes opened.  I think Chris was a little upset that his heartbreak wasn't getting the same attention as Sean's, and he wanted all of us to know that he mattered.  He's a man too!!!

Thought #4: Sean
I still love Sean.  You may or may not have read my last blog post about Sean.  I won't go over anything I posted there, but I think my assessment of Sean's situation was pretty accurate.  Anyway, if he's the next bachelor, I'm totally okay with that, even though that probably places me in the minority.  Nonetheless, I'm pulling for it.

Look how sexy he is.

Moving on, I spent this last weekend in California with my best friends who I've known since Junior High.  In 2002, we dubbed ourselves the Brotherhood and now, years later, we had our 10 year reunion, and what a success it was.  All we were missing was our good friends Matthew and Brianna Reynolds, who couldn't come due to a commitment Matt had to the Carolina Panthers.  I love my friends and am amazed that no matter how long it's been since we've seen each other, nothing changes between us.  I hadn't seen Jon Randall since last August, and being with him again was totally normal.  It was as if we had been hanging out together all summer.  I have been blessed beyond measure with amazing friends and consider my relationships with them one of my most cherished possessions.

Classic.

Most likely the largest Brotherhood gathering ever.

One of my favorite quotes is by the great C.S. Lewis

"In friendship we think we have chosen our peers.  In reality, a few years difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choices of one university instead of another, the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting - any of these chances might have kept us apart.  But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, not chances.  A secret Master of Ceremonies has been at work.  Christ, who said to the disciples, 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,' can truly say to every group of Christian friends, 'You have not chosen one another, but I have chosen you for one another.'  Friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out.  It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of others."

Like C.S. Lewis says, when you believe in God, you believe that everything happens for a reason and that there are no coincidences when it comes to the people that come into your life.  There are reasons we have the friends we have.  Those reasons may not always be clear, but for me, I know that I would not be where I am today and I would not arrive where I want to go without the influence of the Brotherhood and other great friends.  I believe they were placed in my life for a reason.  All I can do is give thanks everyday for having people in my life like them who care about me and love me unconditionally.  Outside of my family, they are people to whom I could tell anything without any fear of being judged.

I'll share one more quote, from Timothy Ferriss*.  He quoted a study from some guys named Daniel Gilbert and Martin Seligman from Harvard and Princeton, respectively, who made an interesting observation about happiness:

"Mealtime with friends and loved ones is a direct predictor of happiness.  Have at least one 2-3 hour dinner and/or drinks per week - yes, 2-3 hours - with those who make you smile and feel good.  I find the afterglow effect to be the greatest and longest with groups of 5 or more."

 I thought this finding was worthy of note.  I've thought of all the times I've done this and left feeling incredibly content and uplifted.  We're all busy, but I don't think that we'll ever regret investing more of our time in people we love.  While this post is about friends in particular, it can apply to family, extended family, and anyone else we care about.  So whether it's getting together for Sunday dinner at your family's house or going out Thursday nights with your friends, this is one investment we can and should make on a regular basis.

On that note, take five minutes sometime to watch this Ted Talk by Ric Elias, who had a front-row seat on Flight 1549, the plane that crash-landed in the Hudson River in New York in January in 2009.  It's a beautiful message.